If I Had You
by DiceDiesBabyLOL
Summary: New Year's, a celebration to end the year and to welcome brand new opportunities, new choices, and so on. And Ruby thinks it's time to finally tell her partner how she really feels about her. But life doesn't go as you planned it. (Bittersweet One-shot White Rose)


**Author's Note: COMEBACK IS REEEAAAALLLLL! Oh, don't mind me. Just posting a heart-wrenching Valentines White Rose before the season finale becomes finally available for non-sponsors like me!**

 **So let's suffer together, eh? :DD**

* * *

 _~ My_ _ **mind**_ _said that, you will end up being_ _ **sad**_ _._ _It's_ _ **pointless**_ _, it's_ _ **risky**_ _. But my_ _ **heart**_ _whispers,_ _ **why not give it a try? ~**_

* * *

~ _Team RWBYK's Room…_ ~

…: _Ruby_ :…

I'm so stupid.

So, _so stupid_.

Here I am, helping my crush with her crush to like her and vice versa. I mean seriously, this is the most _idiotic_ thing I ever did!

And now, my crush is fawning over her early New Year's Eve present from _her_ crush. "Ruby look! Isn't it the cutest thing ever?!" She said as she shoved the panda stuffed toy in front of me.

"Yeah, right…" I swear, she's practically beaming in happiness with that thing! "If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't even know about that."

"Hmm? Did you say something, Ruby?"

"N-nothing. Nothing at all."

She shrugged it off and stood from her bed, putting down her panda. She walked towards me, "I'm going to meet up with Neptune today. How do I look? Do I look okay?"

You look amazing. You always have.

I forced a smile, "Don't worry. You're fine just the way you are." She chuckled, "Thanks. Well, see you later!" She said as she went outside.

I waved at her even though she probably didn't see it. I rest my back against the wall and let it slide, making me sit on the floor. I sighed, "Why are you doing this to yourself, Ruby?"

* * *

~ _Last Week…_ ~

" _Hmm… Which panda should I buy? This one? Or this?"_

" _Why_ _are you choosing a panda?" Yang, my very supportive sister who I love very much, asked._ _"It's Weiss' favorite animal. I want to give it to her as a late Christmas present." I answered_ , _glancing at the cute panda stuffed toys._

" _Then choose that one."_ _It's kind of big though. And a little pricey too. Well, at least it's fluffy._

" _Ruby!" I turned around to see who called me. Man, I shouldn't have done it. "Oh. Hey Neptune." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and grinned. Yang looked at me skeptically. Dude, don't act like we're friends. I barely know you. "Listen, you got to help me on this."_

" _On what?" Weiss?_

" _On Weiss." Ugh, why did I even asked? As if it's not already obvious. "I want to surprise her a day before New Year's Eve and I need your help. You know, since you're her partner?" Can I go now?_

" _I was wondering if you knew her favorite animal? I was planning getting her a stuffed toy of her favorite animal." No kidding, Sherlock. "So, do you know?"_

 _Should I tell him? If I did, Weiss will surely be happy that it came from him. If I didn't, Neptune probably doesn't have any ideas on what present he'd give and Weiss would be disappointed._

 _Risking my heart, I decided to tell the truth. Yang looked really shocked, but Neptune didn't seem to notice._

" _I see… She likes pandas, huh?" He gave me a pat on my back, "Thanks, Ruby! I knew I could count on you!" He looked behind us, "Oh, hey! There's a bunch of pandas there! Today's my lucky day!" Then, he went to the store we previously went and bought the panda I was supposed to buy._

" _Ruby! Why did you do that?!" Yang asked, still can't believe I told him._ _ **"**_ _It'd be better if it came from Neptune."_

" _It's also better if it came from you! Much more better, to be honest!" She said, mildly shouting._ _"I'd rather pick Weiss' happiness than my own. If she's happy, then I'm happy."_

 _Yang sighed, "Well then, genius. What's your present now?" I put my finger under my chin, thinking. "No idea. But I'll figure something out, don't worry."_

~ _Present Day…_ ~

So in the end, I bought her a ring. It's not too cheap yet at the same time, not too pricey. It's a very simple silver ring and I engraved it myself with the meaning of her name.

It's a good thing I came to Mr. Brightshade for help and the outcome was beautiful. He added a sapphire stone and designs. It's really beautiful. I hope Weiss will like it.

I took out the small black box from my pocket and looked at it. I opened it and touched the stone and it gave me some hope, it made me feel like I still have a chance with her.

Suddenly, the door opened and it revealed a busty blonde. "Oh! Heya, sis! I was just looking for you!" I smiled and waved at her, "Hey Yang."

She noticed the ring in my hand and grinned, "Ooh ~ Is that a _ring_ I see?" She gasped dramatically, "Don't tell me… You're going to _propose_ to Weiss?!" **WHAT?**

"Damn, Ruby! You move fast. But sadly, you two are gonna have to wait 'till you're both eighteen ~" I blushed at what Yang said. Seriously, is she out of her mind? "What?! N-no! This is my late Christmas present for her!"

She chuckled and sat next to me on the floor, "I was just teasing you, Rubes. You're too cute not to tease when it comes to Weiss." I sighed, "Seriously?"

She nodded, "Yup! Whenever I tease you about her, your face goes really red and you'd cover it with your arms or you'll look away and deny it or-"

"Okay, fine! I admit it!"

She chuckled, "On a more serious note though. When are you going to confess?" Yang is the only one who knows about my unrequited love for Weiss. She understands me, as she also has the same for Blake. So, we support each other about it. Yang helps me about Weiss while I do the same to Yang.

I sighed, "I don't know… It's going to be hard since Neptune came in to the picture." She sighed too, "Tell me about it. Sun is my problem too since he's making moves on Blake…"

"Does Blake responds to it though?"

She shook her head, "I don't think so. She's probably busy thinking about the White Fang to be in a relationship with Sun or anyone."

"Well, if that's the case, the best thing you need do is to be by her side when she needs it. She rarely opens up to us, but maybe she will when it comes to you. So, do your best to be her partner at all times."

Yang smiled, feeling better than before. "Thanks, Rubes." She grinned once again, "How come you're good at giving advice when it comes to this? Experienced it before?" I laughed quietly, "Well, you could say it involves some books."

"What? You read those types of novels?" I shook my head, a little embarrassed. "Some of the superhero books got a _liiiiiittle_ bit of romance so, I read it anyway." And it's surprisingly good, too.

Yang laughed it off, "Enough about me and Blakey. Back to you and princess, any plans on confessing?" I put my finger on my chin and closed my eyes. "Hmm… I don't really know."

She put her hand on my shoulder, "Think fast, buddy. Or you're going to regret it." I nodded. Yang stood up and dust herself off. After that, she held out her hand to me. I smiled and held it then pulled me up. "Thanks for your company, Yang. I appreciate it."

She also smiled, "Of course! What're sisters for, eh? I'll let you know if I get any updates about Weiss and Neptune." She held up a fist.

I fist-bumped her, "You too, sis."

* * *

~ _New Year's Eve, Professor Port's Class ~_

…: _Ruby_ :…

I yawned at how sleepy I am right now. "The guy never runs out of stories to tell, huh?" I mumbled then yawned again. I noticed Weiss looked really deep in thought. I wonder what's going through her pretty little head? I poked her arm, "Hey, partner. Dozing off?"

She seemed to have snapped out of her trance as she looked at me. "Huh? Y-yeah, I guess…" Suddenly, the bell rang. She stood, "Anyway, I need to go. Bye." Then, she left in a hurry.

That's odd. Yesterday, she was so happy and now, she's distracted. Not in a good way, though. It's rare for her to be like that. I wonder what happened… Did something happened between her and Neptune?

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jolted from the sudden contact and turned around. I was greeted by my blonde bombshell sister, wearing her signature smile. "Hello ~"

I smiled and let out a sigh of relief, "Yang! You scared me for a moment there!" She chuckled, "Anyway, Ms. Always-distracted-because-of-Weiss." I rolled my eyes at the ridiculously, long, stupid nickname which is not _entirely_ true. "I got an update."

"You do?"

She nodded, "Yup! My source said they're going to meet up tomorrow at the seashore in the evening, just in time for the fireworks. I'm positive that Neptune will ask her out around that time."

"I thought the fireworks are supposed to be launching tonight?"

"Nah, they changed it. Weiss said the Schnee Dust Company changed it because of lack of gunpowder."

That's new. The Schnee Dust Company not having enough special materials? Especially gunpowder? "Oh. I see…" Maybe I can try to talk to Weiss, say how I feel and give her the ring. Let's just hope I don't chicken out. "At least, It will buy you some time before you let out your feelings to her, right?"

"Yeah, you're right. I'll just prepare myself tonight for tomorrow." She grinned, "Good! Well, I need to go and meet up with Kadmiel. See you later!" She waved and left. I still waved her goodbye though.

I need to prepare myself for either immense joy or massive sorrow.

* * *

~ _30 minutes until New Year, Team RWBYK's Room…_ ~

I wore my thick crimson jacket, black pants and my usual boots. I'm not going outside, just sitting by the window admiring the night sky and the city lights. Children and townspeople preparing themselves for the New Year.

It brought a smile to my face, seeing this people happy despite their problems even in just a short time. I sighed, "I miss you so much, Mom… I hope you're doing okay up there."

Mom always bakes us cookies every New Year's Eve for a simple celebration in our sweet home back in Patch. How I miss those days…

By the way, where's Weiss?

I brushed it off anyway. She can handle herself if anything happens to her. I grabbed my headphones and listened to my MP3 Player. A gentle breeze passed me and brought a cool sensation to my face, making me close my eyes.

*THUD*

I instantly removed my headphones and grabbed a book by instinct. I looked at the source of the sound, it was only Yang at the door, breathing heavily as if she got chased by an angry mob. "Seriously, Yang! You have got to _stop_ scaring me! You're gonna give me a heart attack!" I said as I lowered the book.

"Ruby! Weiss… and Neptune… T-they already…" She said in between breaths. Fearing for the worst, I bravely asked. "Already what?"

"They're already by the seashore!"

"Wait, WHAT?" I can't believe it… They're already there?! "I thought you said it was tomorrow?!"

"Weiss must've lied. I think she knew about your plan and lied to me about the fireworks schedule!"

"How could've she knew about it?!" I said as I began to panic. Oh, man. I messed up _big time_! "I think she must've overheard us yesterday! The door was _open_ after all!" I face-palmed, "And you didn't closed it after you came in?!" She shrugged, "I thought she was at the library as usual!"

I nervously paced around the room, thinking of how I need to get there before the fireworks start. "W-What am I gonna do?!"

"Here!" She tossed her motorcycle key to me. I looked at her, "Are you sure?" She nodded, "Yeah, it's an emergency! Now, go!" I nodded and ran outside of my room. I checked my watch, "Good, I still have plenty of time left. Let's just hope there's no traffic."

I glided on the railing downwards to the school's garage. I found the orange and black motorcycle on the corner and put the helmet on. I sat on the bike and revved the engine, the exit automatically opened and I released the brakes.

After a few minutes of fast driving, I saw traffic up ahead. I immediately went the other way, which is full of people. Bad idea. I still kept going but I dodged the people as quickly as I can. I almost run over an old lady, it's a good thing my reflexes are working. "Sorry!"

After getting out of there, I can see the seashore but I can't see them even though there are only few people there. I stopped for a second and scanned the area thoroughly from where I stand.

"Where could they be? Come on, Ruby. Think!" Where could he be taking her where there is the best view of the sky?

….!

By the cliff!

I revved the engine again and headed for the cliff. It's a long way, but I need to do this _fast_ or I'll regret it forever. I checked my watch again, crap! I only got _10 minutes_ left! I clenched my teeth in frustration as I speed up the bike. Oh come on! _Another_ traffic?!

Swiftly scanning the area for another route, but it's futile. "Ugh, there's too many people." I got no choice then.

I parked the bike someplace safe and hidden. I can deal with Yang later. After that, I started sprinting towards the cliff. Crap! I can hear the people counting down! Damn it, I need to move _faster_!

10!

I ran really fast and I bumped in to some people but I didn't care. All I care about is Weiss.

9!

What would happen if Weiss said 'yes'? Is she going to leave me? Will she stop hanging out with me? Will she _ignore_ me?

8!

My heart can't take it, _I_ can't take it! Seeing her happy with _him_ , a guy who just recently transferred and _doesn't_ know Weiss at all…

7!

Tears started to blur my vision, but I wiped it with my arm, running even faster than I could possibly imagine. I have to get there. _At all costs!_

6!

Why can't she see? All my care for her, all my _love_ for her… What did she even see in _him_? Can't she see the one who's been there for her? Can she see _me_?

5!

I clenched the small black box inside my pocket so tight as if any second, it could disappear…

4!

As I'm finally nearing to the edge of the cliff, I tripped and fell. I can't stand anymore, my body is too tired. I looked ahead if those two are there. That long, silky, silver hair… It's her! It's _Weiss_!

 _ **3!**_

I gathered all my strength left and forced myself to stand. I could see them close, _very close_ on each other. Not on my watch, pal.

 _ **2!**_

I walked in moderate speed. Crap! He's going to _kiss_ her! Damn it, legs! Don't fail me now…!

 _ **1!**_

"WEISS!" I screamed at the top of my lungs but…

 **I was too late.**

I stood there, dumbfounded. Not sure what to do or what to _say_. They did it, they sealed the deal… If it weren't for the fireworks, maybe she could've heard me. They looked so… _happy_.

*RING RING*

I picked up my scroll and answered it, I don't care who it is. I just need someone who I can talk to right now… "H-hello?" I stuttered.

"Ruby! Hey, sis! Did you made it? Please tell me you did!" At the sound of my sister's voice, I broke down. I started sobbing uncontrollably that I hiccupped. "Y-yang… She's g-gone, Yang…!" Then, I just continued crying.

People around me were happy for a brand new year, a brand new _life_. While I got a brand new _damaged heart,_ and a _broken soul_ …

* * *

~ _New Year's Day, Cafeteria_ ~

…: _Ruby_ :…

I just stared at the dining table like it's the _smoothest_ thing I've seen. Our friends aren't chatty today as most likely they heard about what happened last night. Kadmiel and Nora tried to cheer me up, I appreciate it but their attempt was futile.

Weiss didn't eat with us today, as it'd be awkward and uncomfortable. She sat with her so-called _boyfriend_ on the other table, on the right side and five tables away from us.

I could see them getting all _mushy_ on each other. It makes me _sick_. I stood, making all of them turn to me. "I'll be in my room if anyone ever needs me. See you later, guys." I lazily waved my hand and walked outside of the cafeteria. I need my headphones and bed.

~ _Team RWBYK's Room…_ ~

As soon as I get in, I immediately cried and head towards my bed. I gripped on the pillow I'm crying on so tight. My heart is really damaged right now and I just want to let it out…

If I didn't _**love**_ her. If I didn't even _**like**_ her, it wouldn't _**hurt**_ at all… I guess I knew from the very beginning that it would end like this. But I still did it anyway, because I thought that this would be _**different**_. But of course, life loves to watch me bleed until I run dry…

Every time I see you with him, I feel the urge to _throw him off a cliff_ to hear his hilarious, girly scream. How could you love someone you _just met_? _**I seriously don't understand…**_ Why, just because he's good looking? In the end, people only care about _**looks**_ , not _**personalities**_. That's the bitter truth…

"I'm such a _fool_ … I should've known _better_ …"

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"It's open." The door opened. I had a feeling it was Yang so, I let her in. She sat on the edge of the bed and caressed my head like she always do when I'm down.

"Look, Ruby. I…" She sighed, "I know it's hard for you to see her like that. I know because I felt it too." I stopped for a while to listen to her.

"Things happen for a reason, Ruby. Maybe, she's not for you… The heart wants what it wants. It will only stop wanting when it stopped beating, but we also have to know our limits."

"Our hearts are very fragile, so we must be very careful in taking care of it. If we don't, then what good are we?"

I don't know what to say. Words can't form inside of my head. So I just hugged her instead, "Some endings were never meant to be happy. You have to accept reality and keep moving forward…" Yang said as she kept patting my back.

But, when all's said and done, _**my heart still yearns for you**_ …

* * *

…: _You are my valentine, a rare rose with vicious thorns picked._ _ **My love**_ _written with fingers_ _ **bloody**_ :…

* * *

 **Author's Note: Here's a very lovely treat for my long hiatus! The quote above is written by Michael Faudet, don't know 'bout the starting quote though xD**

 **Credits whoever made that! :)**

 **See ya, peeps! And God Bless ya! :p**


End file.
